This time I'm definitely going to find some kind of suitable punishment for the fitting room attendants who plainly judge you on what you are choosing to try on. You see the sneer work its way across their face as their thoughts appear in virtually visible bubbles over their heads. "You wouldn't catch me dead in that" or "Oooh that'll never fit love" or something equally irritating.
Maybe they should be forced to actually dress in the dark. Or to go against all clothing advice, the bigger girls should wear horizontal stripes etc, or maybe they all have to dress a size too small or a size too big. I shall wear the smirk then. Or perhaps I'm not being quite evil enough... I need to think laterally....
Any ideas?
After about a hundred years of being sneered at in various clothing mongers, by smut eyed, waif thin, over-slapped halfwits, my view is that being employed for the rest of your career (!) (Or at least until Wayne gets you pregnant and you can leave) in some lurid, loud, tacky emporium is punishment enough. Just smile benevolently, glide by and remember, although everyone is beautiful inside; its the being clever as well that makes us perfect!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough old job this perfection isn't it!
ReplyDeleteWe're just so blessed, and with naturally great fashion sense that these lower mortals just can't appreciate.
If I ruled the world,
ReplyDeleteev'ry day would be the first day of spring
Every heart would have a new song to sing
And we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring
If I ruled the world,
ev'ry man would be as free as a bird,
Ev'ry voice would be a voice to be heard
Take my word we would treasure each day that occurred
My world would be a beautiful place
Where we would weave such wonderful dreams
My world would wear a smile on its face
Like the man in the moon has when the moon beams
If I ruled the world every man would say the world was his friend
There'd be happiness that no man coud end
No my friend, not if I ruled the world
Every head would be held up high
There'd be sunshine in everyone's sky
If the day ever dawned when I ruled the world
Can you sing? I need to know whether to imagine that in tune or not....
ReplyDeleteI think I could croon it pretty well
ReplyDeleteGo for mostly in tune, and imagine what you like lol