I talk to myself sometimes, and by sometimes I basically mean all the time that I'm alone. Although, obviously, I'm just talking to Kini the whole time, whether or not she's in the room...ahem.
Yesterday I uttered the following brilliant lines:
"Why is my cardigan in the wok?"
I'm still not actually sure why my cardigan was in the wok.
"Oh! It's a potato! I thought it was a really hard grape!"
I don't know how I came to possess such a tiny, green potato.
For the record, I say some weird shit even when I'm not just talking to myself.
I think my friends could happily vouch for that.
Showing posts with label Overheard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Overheard. Show all posts
Friday, 28 March 2014
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Chivalry?
I was in my local small supermarket the other day. I had just a few items in my wee basket and I headed for the inevitable queue. As I neared the end of it, a young lad arrived at the same time with, I assume, his grandfather.
The young lad, who was no more than 10, stepped to one side, allowing me to go in front of him.
I grinned, said thank you and waited.
Then I heard "what did you do that for?" from the grandfather.
"I let the lady go first" said the little boy.
At which the grandfather let out a very loud exasperated sigh and said "For goodness sakes, next time just stay where you are in the queue!"
It's good to see that the children of our future have such exemplary role models.
I would also like you all to be very proud of me for biting my lip. And my tongue. And possibly inserting my fist into my mouth to prevent me from speaking and loudly berating the unchivalrous grandfather.
By the way, I cannot insert my fist wholly into my mouth. I had a friend once, LaLa (which was not her name - her parents were much kinder than that) but she could get her whole fist into her mouth. Apart from the day she dropped a window on her hand, then her fingers resembled sausages and didn't even nearly begin to make a fist, let alone fit in her mouth.
In fact as I recall, she and I were covering reception, she sat there with her sausage hand and I slid about merrily on my wheeled office chair, momentarily forgetting that there was a gap in the carpet tiles. I was sliding at speed when one wheel hit that gap, the chair came to a sudden, abrupt halt and catapulted me onto the floor.
I'm a picture of grace and elegance.
The young lad, who was no more than 10, stepped to one side, allowing me to go in front of him.
I grinned, said thank you and waited.
Then I heard "what did you do that for?" from the grandfather.
"I let the lady go first" said the little boy.
At which the grandfather let out a very loud exasperated sigh and said "For goodness sakes, next time just stay where you are in the queue!"
It's good to see that the children of our future have such exemplary role models.
I would also like you all to be very proud of me for biting my lip. And my tongue. And possibly inserting my fist into my mouth to prevent me from speaking and loudly berating the unchivalrous grandfather.
By the way, I cannot insert my fist wholly into my mouth. I had a friend once, LaLa (which was not her name - her parents were much kinder than that) but she could get her whole fist into her mouth. Apart from the day she dropped a window on her hand, then her fingers resembled sausages and didn't even nearly begin to make a fist, let alone fit in her mouth.
In fact as I recall, she and I were covering reception, she sat there with her sausage hand and I slid about merrily on my wheeled office chair, momentarily forgetting that there was a gap in the carpet tiles. I was sliding at speed when one wheel hit that gap, the chair came to a sudden, abrupt halt and catapulted me onto the floor.
I'm a picture of grace and elegance.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
A Little Extra
Overheard at Cambridge Folk Festival:
"I've found that, no matter what happens, there's always beer."
"I've found that, no matter what happens, there's always beer."
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