Loving Lovehearts

Some time ago I wrote about how I love a Love Hearts tale.
I still do, only I have noticed, on my recent purchases of Love Hearts that there are some really odd updates.
They always said things like 'You're hot', 'Call me', 'Gorgeous' and the like.
But now there are ones that I simply don't understand.
'Happy Harry' - is that a joke I don't get? Is it a phrase those hip youngsters are using? I just want to know what it means! And what it has to do with love!
Similarly, what on earth does 'Granny P' have to do with love? I don't get it! And I want to!
At least when the majority of Love Hearts do at least spell correctly and have a little grammar.
But then I found the sweet 'Me Julie Best Mum', I don't have words. I just don't. How can I invent a Love Hearts story around such ridiculous sweets?

By the way, after I took this photo I found another sweet, which had the words 'Mermaid Eloise'.
Seriously, would someone please, pretty please, explain this to me?

Drumroll

My friend Gary came for tea tonight and less of him left than had arrived.

It had nothing to do with my cooking either!
Not that I've ever caused lasting damage with my cooking, at least not that I'm aware of!

I made a toad-in-the-hole, then established that he is not a great fan of Yorkshire Pudding. I love Yorkshires I do! I thought everyone felt the same!
So we ate, we had a little pudding.
We watched a little TV and had a little chatting.

I have an old travelling trunk in my lounge that serves as a coffee table of sorts. I love it and in the middle of it is a glass bowl, in which sit a selection of sweets. It's nice to have friends come round, have them dive in and feel like big kids.
Gary dove in and reappeared with Drumstick Lollies clutched in his fist.
Unfortunately the aforementioned lolly went on to clutch one of his fillings and refused to relinquish its hold.
Oops.

Pig Drawing

I found this link in stored away in my favourites and feel the need to share, but I think you should all share in response too.

You know you want to.
Draw a pig that is.

I drew one and I'm even going to share that too but you don't look at mine till you've done yours.
Promise?
Cross your heart?
As an added bonus you'll even get a personality report.

Feel that anticipation?

Ok, so, did you draw a pig?
Have you linked to it in the comments?

I'll believe you... here's my artistic effort.

Not Dead, Just Crippled

It's been a day or two. Maybe a week or so.
But I have returned, I have not gone, but my back has.
Honestly, what use is a back if it's going to misbehave. Does it not appreciate how central it is to your general mobility.
Admittedly my grunting appears to entertain those around me as I move from sitting to standing positions and back again, but even that will grow old.
To be fair it's much improved and after the next day or two I think I'll actually get some time to rest it and let it recover.
Also, on another upside, it is no longer waking me in the night every time I wiggle a toe. There's something disheartening about waking up and realising the time on the clock has barely changed since the last time you saw it.

I think, anyone who has read my rambling nonsense will appreciate I have a tendency to lean towards the eccentric. Sometimes I keep it in check, other times it just sort of runs off and I am unable to rein it in.
It snowed yesterday. Just a few inches, but enough to turn my world a pristine shade of white, to make the kids squeal and Mifford shake her feet in displeasure.
I was invited to Mum's for Sunday dinner. I'm not sure if my assembled outfit was eclectic, eccentric or just bonkers.
One thing it definitely wasn't was thought through.
I threw on a pair of jeans, my favourite pair were residing in the hamper waiting to be washed. My second favourite pair sit a little low and so need a long top to prevent indecent, builders bum, exposure. I pulled out a top. A strappy top.
You'd think the freezing temperatures would rule this out, but no.
I added a huge cardigan. Up until now I was pretty co-ordinated as everything was blue.
Then I realised I needed to leave the house and appreciated the fact that my Capri length (second favourite) jeans might not keep those ankles toasty, so I opted for a long pair of pink & green striped slipper socks.
Sexy huh?
But wait, there was snow and ice on the ground.
I added my green wellies.
See how this look is coming together?
For a final touch I added my pink winter coat.
I'm like a fashion disaster.
But I felt so hilarious (ridiculous) I fairly skipped in the snow.

Moving on....
Last week, complete with uncooperative back I went to the NEC with Mum to visit the Hobbycrafts show. I love me some crafting. And some shopping. And some spending. It was good and I have come to realise in future I need a lottery win prior to visiting so that I can purchase all of my desired items. Or a really generous bank manager. I'll be sticking to my lottery dreams, as, even though I never buy a ticket, my chances of winning are still higher than finding the latter of those options.
I did come away with a sheet of cling rubber stamps, with which I am thrilled and am excited by their bargain price of just £4. I also got shrink plastic, which I remember using as a child. There's just something exciting about its transformation.
My friend Gary came over last week, I sat and painted a picture as we chatted, which I intended to then shrink.
The instructions clearly stated that your image could not be larger than 10cm x 13cm, so naturally I did one that was half A4 size. When it was finally finished I reached for my heat gun to see what would happen with my rebellious, outsized image. Gary said it was genuinely exciting.
What was less exciting was the damn thing rolling up on itself, sticking itself together and becoming all but ruined.
It's totally weird but I think the rules about 10cm x 13cm are there for a reason. Who knew!
However, I have since managed to unroll the shrink plastic, it's a little deformed but what the hell. I'm not sure I've learned my lesson now I've sort of fixed it.

I read a book every night (not a whole book, just part of one) before I go to bed but I left my current book in the car and it's really cold out there. I'm also wearing pyjama bottoms with my daytime clothes. But it's dark. Do I get the book and risk further bad clothing exposure or find something else to read?
My life is a whirlwind of complex decisions.

On a final note, I lost a whole hunk of hair to a necklace today. I have no idea how so much got trapped, but I have a feeling, were I to look, that I'd have a bald spot.

Song Of The Week XXXX

This band reminds of a time in my life that seems just so very many years ago. Probably because it was! Over a decade is a fair while, but there's something about the album that this song comes from that is still so incredibly fresh.
They were all songs that you could sing along with and with the obligatory occasional swear words so that you could feel pleasantly rebellious.

There are some great lines in this track and I can listen to it over and over, the same is true of the album.
This song actually gives me goosebumps, then it makes me chuckle with some of the lines, like: "grass is something you smoke, birds are something you shag, take a year in Provence and shove it up your arse", see, it was mild swearing but I loved it!

Every time I think about Pulp or hear a single track, I immediately want to listen to the entire Different Class album, which was my favourite, although I really must give the others a proper listen.

Enjoy!

Pulp - I Spy:

Oh and one last thing. I can't end this entry without a quote, namely the one that went along with the Different Class album.

"Please understand. We don't want no trouble. We just want the right to be different. That's all."

Absolutely, couldn't have said it better myself.

The Cat Came Back

I have no idea why this popped into my head today but there I was minding my own business when my brain screamed 'I wonder if The Cat Came Back is on youtube?'
So, upon arriving home I checked, and yes it is!

I love this piece of animation and haven't seen it in ages.
However, I know for the foreseeable future I'm going to be singing 'The cat came back the very next day, thought he was a gonner but the cat back, he just wouldn't go away'.
Just brilliant.

The Doctor's In

I got a call last week from my doctor's surgery, asking me to come in to discuss the results of my nerve conductivity tests.
It's always a little unnerving having to go and discuss test results!
I arrived and saw the new GP, whom I have only seen once before, on his first day, which was quite amusing as he clearly had no clue how anything worked.
Anyway, I am converted and I think he's adorable. I shall be attempting to ensure if I'm ill, it's on a day that he's working.
The test results I had gone in to discuss were nowhere to be found, whilst the lady covering reception searched for them he and I had a bit of a chat. I got the distinct impression that he really, genuinely cares.
He wants to do some blood tests and I asked if I should just go straight to the hospital. I explained I have notoriously recalcitrant veins.
When I had my stint in hospital, it got to the point that one of the phlebotomists recognised my name when she saw it on boards on the wards. It wasn't a small hospital.
The last time I actually went to the phlebotomy 'ward' it took nearly half an hour and several different phlebotomists to get blood.
Anyway, after explaining the reluctance of my body to give any blood up, my lovely new doctor insisted that I book an appointment with him, so he can attempt to extract some from me.
Finally my test results were located. I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
Ooh Hurrah.
We chatted a little more, he rested his hand on my hand and said; "If at any time, you just want to talk, you come in and see me and I will listen and take care of you." Really. See how adorable he is?
I stepped out of his office, thanking him for his time and went to book the next appointment.
As I explained he wanted to do my blood test the receptionist expressed surprise "but doctors never offer to do those!"
I'm special me. I have deep veins that meander like a river at its end.
Getting a canula in me is a special joy. I remember how thrilled they were at the hospital when I accidentally ripped them out. I'm an accident on the move, what can I tell you.

Song Of The Week XXXIX

I'm a little late, this is my wont!
I didn't have a particular song in mind this week, there wasn't something I'd been playing incessantly and for some reason this group just dropped into my mind and I spent a while wandering around youtube watching them.
I wish their song On Children had been available, for that has to be one of my favourites. Instead I choose this one:

Sweet Honey In The Rock - Peace:

They have such beautiful voices that just work together so very well. They must have had over three decades together and their sound is still so strong it takes my breath away.

Below Zero

Winter has officially arrived, it's cold out there, the leaves are largely fallen from the trees, so I don't know really why I even bothered to look at the weather forecast.

However, I now have the fear.

Come Monday morning I am going to have to wear all of my clothes if I am to survive the predicted sub-zero temperatures... seriously check it out:

-284.
That's pretty chilly right?
I mean that's like the scene where the library freezes in The Day After Tomorrow.
All I have to say is: Brrrrr.
No wait I have to say it again.
Brrrrrrrrrrr.

A O Hell

Last night, as I disconnected from the internet, a little window flashed up. AOL were about to install some upgrades. I greeted this with a groan. Every single time this happens does it totally screw with my internet connection.

So, this morning, with a sense of trepidation I turned on my computer.

I clicked on the wee AOL icon. Nothing.

I clicked again. Nothing.

Again and again and again. Nothing.

I rebooted.

On this reboot AOL informed me it needed to install more files. I doubted the veracity of this but I clicked OK as I had no other option.

Nothing.

Imagine this repeated a dozen, two and three dozen times.

My temper. It flared.

I couldn't locate a helpline number.

No, because those can be found on AOL. Assuming the stupid program even bloody well opens.

I finally relented and called Directory Enquiries, or one of those services, dependent on who pays the most for advertising and which number sticks in your brain. It was so much easier when it was just 192. Which reminds me of a totally unrelated tale that I need to relate.

Anyway, I rang AOL. I got through to India. Which seems to be the norm of late and I know more and more people are frustrated by it.

I explained my predicament, that this wasn't the first, second or third time this had happened. That I wanted it restoring to exactly as it had been, that I did not want to delete and reinstall, that there was information I couldn't afford to lose. I explained I was really very cross and that I was doing my best to remain calm and civil.

She said she'd help me try to restore it but if she couldn't it would need reinstalling. Frayed temper did not respond well to this little statement.

She spent a while on the phone to me.

And you know what.

She went and bloody fixed it.

I did not need to scream and stamp my feet.

I did however need to thank her for putting up with my very cross voice.

Carphone Warehouse have taken over/bought AOL. And what a downhill slide that has been.

They absolutely suck.

AOL Pictures, which they spent time advertising? Closed down.

AIM? Profiles deleted.

AOL Journal? Gone.

Ability to view all websites? Not a chance.

I am beginning to wonder why I'm paying for a glorified way to check my email.

But... the big question remains, are the other ISPs any better?

Will It Never End?

Guess what?
It happened again.
Oh Yes.

My phone started ringing.
Me: Hello?
Caller: You forgot your bear.
Me: I'm sorry?
Caller: Felicity?
Me: Um No, you have the wrong number.

Of course they have the wrong number. I am the eternal wrong number.
I'm now imagining Felicity as a bear wrangler though. And that somewhere a lady has a grizzly running riot in her lounge that she cannot control.

Song Of The Week XXXVIII

I can't explain what it is that I love about this.
I just know that I heard it and ran downstairs to check out my CD collection to see if I had somehow missed hearing this, but it wasn't on any of his Cd's I already owned.
It's not even a couple of minutes long, try it and see what you think.
Maybe I need to know I'm not alone in loving it!

Tom Waits - The Ocean Doesn't Want Me: