Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Going It Alone

On Sunday I went out on my own. I mean to a gig, not just leave the house alone, I do that every day, I'm very capable of being alone!
I've just never gone to an event on my own, never gone to the cinema alone, no festivals.
I found a surprise store of courage that I wasn't sure really existed and I drove on over, all the time telling myself I could just leave if it felt weird.
I parked a five minute walk from the venue and strolled over, when I got to the venue and went to find a seat, it was absolutely packed, if it wasn't sold out, it can only have been a half dozen seats from being so. Which made me a little nervous about finding a seat as they hadn't been allocated.
I followed a couple of women up the stairs and as they moved along a row a solitary seat was left at the end of the row and as I moved to ask if it would be taken someone grabbed my arm.
I looked up and saw a friend of a friend.
It was the strangest thing, I'd gone to a gig alone, run into someone I knew and suddenly felt like I wasn't a billy-no-mates. I felt as though I was confident enough to go to things alone, that I didn't need always need the company of someone else.
There's something quite wonderful in that.
I really enjoyed the gig, I'd gone to see Drever, McCusker & Woomble but they had another three guests and it was a really good night. Until the interval, when they came back and informed us the snow had started up again. I cursed my last minute decision to ditch my hiking boots and go with ballet pumps instead. With the weather being so horrid, I'd grown sick of living in boots.... that'll teach me!

After the gig I nervously headed to the exit, wary about exactly how much had fallen. The world was white. But maybe only an inch deep. Which would have been fine in my boots. I started walking, slowly, towards my car and felt my socks grow wetter and wetter until I began to wonder if they'd actually become liquid as they sloshed inside my shoes. It was a delight. I wondered about frostbite. After having just read Songbird by Sebastian Faulks, my mind flitted off to the images of war and men living in permanently sloshing socks.

I finally made it to the car without falling on my ass once and in fact only having one close call. Which is almost as great an achievement as going to an event on my own for the first time!

The roads were white and the journey home was slow as it was almost impossible to judge, on the country roads, where the road and verge were.
It was beautiful though, we were a day away from a full moon, the sky was absolutely clear, the light of the moon reflected from the snow in a way I've never seen before. It was so bright it made almost no difference whether the car lights were on full beam or not.

I chuckled as I passed a temporary sign, on which the only visible words were 'Diverted Traffic', the arrow indicating which way you should go had been obliterated by snow.
When I was almost home, a barn owl swooped up over a hedgerow, then low over the road before swooping back up and over the hedge on the opposite side of the road. They're such incredibly beautiful animals, they take my breath away.

Tonight I'm going out alone again. To see a band called Moishe's Bagel, whom I know almost nothing about, other than that I'll be listening to a bit of Klezmer with a twist. Should be an interesting evening!

I was out last night too, at the same venue I was at on Sunday and the same one I'll be at tonight - the Drill Hall. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that they're running a world cinema season, this time the theme is obsession. A couple of weeks ago I went with Rachael to see A Zed &Two Noughts, and it's safe to say I had to look at the IMDB when I got home to try and understand what the hell it all meant. I just don't think I really enjoy Peter Greenaway movies. I know he has a number of fans and maybe they'd say I just didn't understand what he was trying to say. They'd be right.
Anyway, last night we watched Black Cat, White Cat and I absolutely loved it. I always like going to the IMDB after I've seen a movie as someone is always going to disagree with my point of view and there's something in that that I like. That we're all so different. There are, as always, lovers and haters, but to be honest I enjoy watching something that's outside the realm of Hollywood but is fun and doesn't require a degree in film-making to understand!


An Apron Straitjacket said...

kuddos on your solo venture! For myself, I found that after heading out alone a few times I really started to enjoy it. It gives you a chance to really stretch who you are, become anyone you want, without the weight of your friends expecting the "norm".

I too am a IMDB junkie. Here's a couple of my fav "outside the realm of Hollywood" films.
First is Run Lola Run. The plot description sounds blah, but trust me it's an awsome film!
The other is The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Oh and if you get into a "THINK MODE" give Pi a go; it will mess you up for life, lol.

alfa female said...

Hey - Woomble - great choice!

Flibbertigibbet said...

Apron: I'm actually really surprised at myself! I went out to the next gig and had a lovely time, got chatting to some people and another girl who often goes alone because, like me, none of her friends really enjoy the stuff she does. Made me feel all brave really!
I love Priscilla Queen of the Desert!
I haven't seen Run Lola Run, but it IS on my lovefilm list!

This changes almost daily, but I adore The Station Agent - really worth watching!

Alfa Female: I went for the McCusker! :) But the Woomble was super too!