More Memory Failures...

Is this the beginning of the end?
I mean really, is this it? The brain cells are already departing?

Yesterday morning I was feeling quite proud of myself, I got up and sorted out the previous nights washing up, tidied the rooms downstairs, made the bed and was just sitting down to open up my email when there was a knock at the door. I checked the time, 9.30am, wondered who could be knocking on the door and ploddled down the stairs in my poorly PJ's. So called for no reason other than I favour them when I'm poorly. A definite bonus to living alone is being able to wear terrible PJ's and remain unseen.
Anyway, so I open the inside door, look into the conservatory and see no one outside so assume it must be Paul, hiding somewhere, ready to make me jump out of my skin. I peer down the drive and see a form and think to myself, well, that looks like Harriet. Realise it IS Harriet. Then realise we are supposed to be going out. At 9.30am. My poorly PJ's are not suitable attire. And as for my hair which I tied up when I took a bath the previous night, it was giving whole new meaning to 'a life of its own'. Quite how I forgot we were supposed to be going when we'd only just arranged it I have no idea. So long, memory!
Once I'd thrown together a hasty outfit and run back down the stairs, Harriet assured me I didn't look like a lunatic and my hair realllly wasn't that bad.
Still, at least we were only going to tidy our respective shops and I didn't have to face too many people, although I suspect they would give me a wide berth. With the bright red hair sticking out all over, it probably would look like my head was on fire from a distance.

Although that makes me want to sing lines from The Acid Song by Loudon Wainwright III. (The live version on Career Moves - not that I'm a geek or anything.)
'I know my hair is on fire. It's like incense or something. You know, your face is melting? It iiiiis! It's all the colours of the raiiinbow!'

Although my favourite lines from that song have to be:
'Driving on acid is easy,
driving on acid's a breeze,
just keep the car on the highway,
don't laugh and don't fart and don't sneeze.'

I've seen him live a number of times but he never does that one live any more, no matter how many shouts there are for it. Ah well, he has so much other great stuff I forgive him.

Is it wrong that I'm so cold tonight I wish I could put the heating on? It's August! If it weren't that I think I need a chimney sweep, I'd be lighting a fire.
Last time I tried to light a fire, the room slowly filled with smoke and set off the smoke alarm as I desperately ran round opening windows and trying to remember the location of the key for the window locks. So I stood under the smoke alarm manically fanning the air to make it shut up. Eventually, immediately prior to my arms snapping clean off at the shoulder, it stopped. Only to begin again moments later. More fanning. This went on until I decided removal of the battery was the way forward until the smoke was completely cleared. So smoke alarm was dismantled, it laid in several pieces and the battery was removed. At last it was quiet. I turned my back and walked back into the kitchen. The smoke alarm started going off again. I glanced at the battery, went back and looked at the dismantled alarm, stared and said "How are you doing that?!". Very reminiscent of the episode of Friends with a recalcitrant smoke alarm that taunted Phoebe.

Anyway, I won't be lighting any fires in that fireplace any time soon.